We were discussing this in my divorce support group tonight. I’m of the “go ahead and hit send” school, as long as your ex isn’t going to haul you into court over what you wrote. My co-leader, who’s a kinda new agey girl thinks you should take the high road and write it but don’t send it. Personally I’ve gotten a lot of satisfaction in sending those inflammatory emails because I know how much they upset him. His wife (former girlfriend who he left me for) said so in a “family therapy” session. Seems she was terribly upset with me for upsetting her darling husband. Tough noogies as they used to say when I was a kid.
My favorite–and most effective–inflammatory email was the one accusing both of them of parental alienation in no uncertain terms. I went into great detail about their heinous behavior with my kid. Since they both work for social services they recognized that I could haul them into court for that kind of thing, so miracle of miracles, they toned it down. That was one email that actually worked. I’m not sending them anymore because I’m tapped out, and also I promised not to, but hey, give me enough reason and I’ll go back to my wicked ways. As a writer, I’m damned good at them.
“Like having a friend on your side to help you let go of the past, get through the turmoil, and turn to a better future.” —Abigail Trafford, author of Crazy Time and As Time Goes By
“A must read for anyone contemplating a divorce or going through one.” —Susan Richards, author of Chosen by a Horse and Chosen Forever
“He’s History You’re Not is for every woman who suffers the anguish of a ruptured relationship.” —Florence Falk, Ph.D., psychotherapist, and author of On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone