I just got a book in the mail from a friend, “Ditching Mr. Wrong, How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right” by Nicolas Aretakis that brings up some interesting questions about what kind of compromises you should make when you marry.
I know a lot of women who seem to want it all, who won’t make any compromises. Others make all the wrong compromises (that would be me). My friend Nina, who is the only happily married one of all my old girlfriends, used to say, “make a list of the ten most important qualities you want in a man, then drop the bottom five, then drop three more. Then you’ll find Mr. Right. That worked for her. She found a really nice guy; not glamorous or charming (her usual type) but a solid steady guy who supported her through thick and thin and whom she’s still happily married to 20 years later.
Aretakis disagrees. He says: “even if you marry the most magnanimous Prince Charming on the planet there will be sacrifices (just ask my wife). That’s part of what marriage is about—promising to be with someone through good times and bad, agreements and disagreements. So the compromises and sacrifices you’re making now are just the beginning, and will multiply if you plan to raise children together. It’s important to set fairly high standards for a life partner, to avoid ending up miserable and resentful as you journey through the future together.
I used to agree with Nina, but I’m now leaning more towards Aretakis’ position. What about you?